10 PHOTOGRAPHS THAT PROVE THAT LEEDS IS BETTER THAN WHEREVER YOU LIVE

All taken by myself on a various cameras that may not be the best, sorry if the quality is poor on them.

totally adore my parents which is strange but totally awesome. I would like to share this conversation with you which was between my friend and my mother on Facebook at 6am (sounds creepier than it is).

Today

 

Friend: Sup Pauline

 

Mum: hello your upearly

 

Friend: Just finished work, doing nightshifts at work

 

Mum: me too nights

 

Friend: But really were jar drinking all the stock and pretending we weren’t here, shhhh!

Aw awesome, I always do nights, always more money

 

Mum: lifes good then

 

Friend: Yeah definitely awesome. Ryan says “sup hev mum”

 

Mum: hi ryan

 

Friend: He says “sup”, I’m not saying I love you Pauline, just saying we all do

And Peter obv

 

Mum: cool

 

Friend: Communal opinion like

do I put important things in places that I’ll never think to look? Nearly always when I am drunk but today.. I was actually completely sober :| I am a bit worried really.

Top 3 this week

1. PURSE IN THE FRIDGE

Now I totally understand why I was in the fridge.. getting food whilst drunk of course. But why the hell would I have taken out put it down in there? Secondly when I took the stuff out the fridge butter bacon etc then put the stuff back in. Why didnt I notice my big purse staring at me?

2. PASSPORT IN MAKE UP BAG WITHIN A BAG AT THE BACK OF THE WARDROBE

Now this one is much much worse as my wardrobe is about 2m tall and to get that bag to the back of it would have required me to get on top of a chair to put it there. Which definitely gives me enough time to be like, what the fuck am I doing? The best thing about this one is I don’t even have a chair in my room so I would have to had to have gone and got a chair from the spare room to do this. I am a fuckingg weirdo.

3. MOBILE PHONE IN THE UNDERWEAR DRAWER

Now whats ridiculous about this was, not only was I sober, but I lost my phone way way after the time I put underwear on. So why the fuck was I even in my underwear drawer anyway? I told my friend where I found it and hes well convinced I was skyping him earlier for about 2 hours underwearless. Fucking GREAT

Funny Facebook groups about the town of Grimsby. You wouldn’t think there would be many for such a craphole but I sifted through the faeces and have come up with these 5 bad boys.

5.      ‘20P GUY IN GY’   http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=108797809141494

This facebook group would have been higher in the ranking if it wasn’t actually also a little sad. It is basically a 23 year old lad that is well known for asking for 20p, he comes up with a a lot of original excuses along with his classics of ‘I need 20p for the bus’. Well i want to know what this bloody bus is thats 20p because I am well on that, I know for a fact they charge at least £1.25 on the buses I have to get while I am visiting here.

4.    ‘G r i m s b y !!! <3’   http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=321333287609

This group is just hilarious as its described as ‘for if you live or have family in grimsby! <3’ and it only has one member, the creator of said group. Unfortunately love, none of us want to admit that we live there. Your groups shit. but funny

3.    ‘Ozzy the Wino of Grimsby Appreciation Society’ http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=46586882683

He was going to be number one, but then I didn’t want people to think that I endorse alcoholism. But still.. what a ledge

2.    ‘Grimsby and Cleethorpes slang!! A language of its own’ http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7116495669

A plethora of stupid made up bullshit that passes as slang in Grimsby, there are some absolute diamonds in there though including:

• Bagwash - laundrette
• Yorkie - native of yorkshire and representative of the outside world and hence a figure to be feared and maligned

• COMFORT - visiting Yorkies ‘com’fort day com’fort week

1.    ‘Flash Mob Grimsby’   http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=13600408251

This is the winner due to the fact i’ve been a member since 2008 and still there has been no flashmob, no date, no solid idea on what we are going to do - with almost 500 members we could do a really great flashmob butttt its never gonna happen. Who are these useless admins and officers? It just sums up in a nutshell how indecisive people in grimsby really are, we couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery (all though with more than our fair share of the countries alcoholics this could be a well disputed claim).

When I read this back, looking at how weird and wonderful this list is, I now understand that I am a proper Grimbarian (a.k.a weirdo).

Biffy Clyro are doing a fan-designed Tshirt competition. There are hundreds of really well designed entries, where fans have clearly spent a lot of time on photoshop making them, but as it is done on public votes, they will not win. This is currently the winning design:

Not gonna lie, its fucking awesome. You can vote for this masterpiece at: http://festival.biffyclyro.com/gallerydetails?sort=popular&page=1

the weird things that I do. At the moment I am a big fan of looking at blogs (usually found through twitter, in fact this today is what inspired me to start this, even though no-one will read it) and looking at what its about and then asking ridiculous or unrelated questions under the ‘ask me anything’ tab on tumblr. I went on this film and music blog today, that actually belongs to my friends friend (hes never met me but post the question has followed me on twitter, I asked anon so its still unclear whether he added me due to working out it was my question or just because I followed his twitter) and under the ‘ask me anything’ I asked him what his hamster is called. It turns out, its a rat, and by the way its called Pepsi.

This is said rat:

disclaimer: I do not own the rights to this rats image.

I dont think he’ll mind

So.. recently I have started to talk to people and number them as according to what number of that name they fall into my phonebook list. So seeing as I dont have that many contacts its only sort of 1of 2 or 3 (OR if they have a more common name such as Katie or Ben up to 3 or 4. Its a really funny exercise as everyone thinks I have some sort of rating system at the moment for friends or like maybe the level of friendship? What I have been doing for example is: ‘Hey Lewis number 2, what you up to today?’. The greatest thing about this is that if I did have a friends rating system as everyone is 1 to 4, 4 would be the most friends I could have. Maybe doing things like this will result in that lack of friend-age. This proves that having an uncommon name wins also that having surnames beginning with ‘A’ almost automatically makes you a winner.. oh and also that people are dumb:

Whats also funny, is this guys related to me. Hes my brother, he knows what I’m like but hes still concerned about the fact hes number 3. aaahahaha